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It is December already and Christmas again. I wanted to send a quick note of greeting and to pass along some helpful hints for getting through this time of year. I hope they make life a little easier for many of you. I want to chat about flashing lights, holiday stress, cult alters, and ways to manage difficult situations with people and invitations. As I recently drove down the freeway, I could hardly focus because a police car was ahead and flashing its many lights. Then I noticed the homes with flashing lights as decorations. I know that flashing lights can quickly trigger some traumatic memories and often a “switch”. Hopefully, the alter who comes out is someone who knows how to drive…… if you are driving!

There is wisdom in averting the eye anytime we perceive the object in focus is not safe or unhealthy for us. The less time exposure to the trigger, the better. Key: visual avoidance

When I was driving, I decided to purposefully not to look at the direction of the police auto or oncoming traffic which can have a similar affect. Instead, I looked at the pavement and autos ahead. Squinting also helped. Frequent fast glances to the side also dispelled the effect of the lights. Home decorations may be exterior or interior. Avoid the streets where you noticed flashing lights. Perhaps doing the parade of decorated homes in your community should be delayed until you are healed.

If you happen to be invited to a home/ office with flashing lights, do your best to position yourself where you cannot see them.nutcrackersIn a small room, you might even consider asking the host if they could please turn them off. We had this situation at one of our office parties. Once we understood the problem, we were happy to accommodate the person so they could enjoy the party.

While it is the season to be jolly, many of you are feeling pretty low. This season is also an active time for occult groups. If you have a cult history, then cult alters will become more active. Instead of allowing fear or trying to ignore increased activity inside, take advantage of this season to meet those cult alters who are surfacing. Invite them to a tea party and have a chat. Learn their traditions and share yours with them. This is a great time for evangelism. They may have never had wassail or figgy pudding.

Be good to yourself. This is a stressful season for most people. Eliminate activities which do not need to be done, even though you may want to do them or always have. Now for the BIGGIE! People. Most severely traumatized people were abused by members of their families. I am often asked, “What do I do for the holidays?”

You can respectfully decline the invitations if you think you would be unsafe in the environment. Be brief without excuses. It may be hard to do and they may not like it. You are taking control of your life. You are not living to please other people now, only God. He says to flee evil.

On that note, what if you do attend and find yourself feeling anxious and unsafe? Learn to seat yourself in a restaurant at the end of a booth or table for easy sliding away. Avoid riding with others so that you can easily leave in the event you choose to go early. If you not have an auto, be sure you have money for a cab.

In a home, sit close to the door or at the table where there is easy egress. If you are fortunate enough to have a spouse/friend who is knowledgeable and supportive, they may notice that you are not “yourself” and help you say adieu. You will need to coach them on how to do it.

“What do I say?” you may ask. Tell them that you hope they have a great time but you need to leave now and will connect later. If they press, NEVER LIE (lies give demons legal right to harass you). Simply say I have other obligations right now. If they still press, use assertiveness, repeat exactly what you just said. Do not get into a conversation with them. Jesus is the lifter of your head. Do this with kindness, honor and authority rather than a victim who is not yet able to cope. You can do this! Practicing beforehand also works.

If someone wants you to stay overnight in their home and that is a scary issue, simply say thank you and stay in a hotel or with people who are safe. If you are not exactly sure if you want to and they press, you could agree but tell them if you feel at all uneasy , you will go to a hotel. Be sure to be true to yourself if you become uneasy!

KEY: Whenever you expect that you may encounter an invitation you would not want to accept, rely upon a previously made engagement to get you out of it. That previous engagement is actually a promise that you can make to yourself right now and not lie as well.

KEY: The promise goes like this: I promise myself that in the event someone wants me to do something I believe is not wise, that time becomes already committed to do something nice for myself as a reward for being responsible for myself. I must have integrity to do this nice thing for myself. The answer to the invitation is,” Thank you, but I am already committed.” This is kind, honest and does not promise anything.

I hope our little chat has increased your capacity to face the holidays with more cheer.

May the CHRIST of Christmas live supremely in your spirit now and forevermore.