Labels
Categorised in: Professional Resources
How do our clients with Dissociative Identity Disorder see themselves? How are they labeled by the medical community, educational world, family and friends? How do they label themselves and does any of this matter? All people need to be aware of their true identity in order to fulfill their destiny. Labels can encourage and cripple us. Medical diagnoses can pigeonhole a person for life. Discovering the labels in a person’s life, exploring their justifications, and deciding what to do with them is serious work for the dissociative client.
Just as monos, clients have often mistaken their identity as their function or work. As in the definition of DID, each alter has a distinctly different consistent perspective of, or way of relating to themselves, others and their environment. There is usually a fear that arises from the alters that if they were to stop or change jobs, they would cease to exist. That helps perpetuate the extreme resistance to change. There can be many other false beliefs wrapped up in the fear of change. Whenever you find one extreme, look for the opposite belief also. These beliefs often have accompanying labels.
Each alter-personality is created by the client to fill a specific need and function. Sometimes that perceived role is limited and only a fragment is created to handle one piece of a trauma. At other times it may be a well developed personality that matures over time and carries the name of the client.
Let’s take a look at Jane, for example, and the many tasks she performs as a mother, wife, sister, homemaker, teacher, etc. To Jane, who has DID, her perspective is exactly opposite of how we might see her. So rather than the understanding that I am Jane who is a mother and wife who teaches and manages a home, those with DID see themselves in separate functionalities and identities. I am the Mother who resides in Jane. Alter A is the mother part, and the alternate identity B is the wife part and so on. There could also be subdivisions, such as the wife who greets her husband at the door and is separate from the wife/lover part in the bedroom. Because trauma frequently originated in sexual abuse, there may be many parts that help her get through the stages of sexual intimacy. Each time the situation seems overwhelming, she “switches” to another alter who takes executive control of the body. Often the function defines who they are, rather than their personality defining the task. As in the definition of DID, each alter has a distinctly different consistent perspective of, or way of relating to themselves, others and their environment. There can actually be many mothers, wives, homemakers and teachers in the system/s.
Rather than a prescribed task, an alter might be defined by the emotions they contain. So when we trigger “Grief”, there might be a part that comes out who cries inconsolably. This is because Grief only knows grief; it is all she does. She does not process hope, which is another alter’s job. So it would be difficult to teach Grief about hope unless you can contact the alter with the opposite belief. Explaining this concept might loosen the framework Grief is holding onto, but finding the original trauma and underlying beliefs will be most helpful with integration.
When I, Sandra, was ministering with Elijah House, Inc., Mark Sandford once described this type of being stuck and unable to stop emoting as “hemophilia of the emotions”. Years of experience with hundreds of dissociative clients have convinced me that many persons have been misdiagnosed as Borderline, but they are really only presenting an alter who holds many or all of their emotions.
A quick change in status can be effected by simply asking for another alter to come out when the person in seemingly unable to stop emoting. The change is usually abrupt and seemingly brings control of one’s emotions into play. Actually, this presenting alter does not have emotions or has limited few and the alter who holds the overwhelming emotions has gone inside. This is also key in therapy in regards to helping the client to get in touch with their emotions for complete processing of a memory.
It is crucial to remember that an alter can be anything….a color, animal, rock, silence, a concept, an emotion or any combination of emotions. I have met several “I don’t know’s”, “Yes’s” or “No’s”.
There is also the possibility of a “shell” in severely broken clients. In his book, “Dissociative Identity Disorder Psychological Dynamics”, Tom Hawkins defined a shell as:
a presenting identity through whom other identities can present in a hand-in-glove fashion that serves to maintain an appearance of constancy to the external world and a continuous short-term memory for the individual, thus minimizing the sense of time loss; usually has no developed personality of its own but reflects the personalities and perspectives of the identity filling it at any given time.” (pg 184)
In this situation, we are putting a label of “shell” on an alter for a working understanding of the person. The “shell” may function as the speaker but will reflect the personality and perspective that she is speaking for. This makes the person look consistent with no appearance of switching and seems to possess short term memory.
Since ritual programming involves a deliberate trauma which forces an overwhelming decision, an alter on opposite sides of each issue is usually created. That forces the victim to make a decision, although coerced, so the programming is more spiritually and mentally binding. For example, if the child is put in the double bind: “Do I kill my cat or cut myself?” Neither alternative is good or acceptable, so a part is created to kill the cat. This alter now may take the belief that they hate animals, while another part is made which has an opposing view. So there might be the alter John, who is big, strong, mean to cats and taunts Jan who has a tender heart toward animals. Both alters were created to deal with a single trauma and both need to have this addressed before the cruelty to animals issue will be resolved.
This dynamic is especially true for divided loyalty to parents. While the child is totally dependent upon the parent for life needs, it is crucial to think kindly of them and to obey them in order to keep peace and their own sanity. On the other hand, the parents may be the abusers. It is also necessary for the child to realize that what the parents are doing is wrong to keep their sanity. This necessitates at least two alters. One who denies the crimes of the parents and is totally loyal to them and one who hates them for their cruelty and tries to protect themselves whenever possible.
Most people with DID have been misdiagnosed multiple times. Switching from one alter to the next, especially when there is an abrupt change of subject, might lead the listener to conclude the person is ADD or ADHD. So here is a label that the medical world would put on a person when they do not understand the dynamics of DID. Even schizophrenia can be the diagnosis when the reality is that the voices they hear are their own alters or demonized alters. The real root of these behaviors is their dissociation. Once a client has been diagnosed symptomatically, it becomes very restrictive and detrimental to their healing.
There is a need for medical personnel to be advocates for these people who have had so many erroneous mental health labels. They should not have to suffer the social prejudices regrettably carried by those with accurate diagnoses.
When we look at Joe, we might label him as an alcoholic. Instead he may have one part that uses alcohol to escape and another part who is a sobrietist. This principle applies to any behavior the client does. If there is self-mutilation or suicidal ideation, it may be possible to connect with the opposing part who will work with the therapist, to prevent self harm. This also applies to the client’s religious beliefs. There may be some Christian alter-identities who are in the majority in the client’s system. But be aware that siding only with them and not addressing the possibility of an opposing view might push the anti-God parts further into hiding.
Clients who are not DID still often have labels. You may have sensed that as the new client unloads, she has a sign over her that reads: “victim”. It doesn’t matter that the woman knows truth with her mind; what does she really believe in their heart? Ask the Lord to reveal the truth to her. Please read Foundational Teaching Articles.
As they agree with truth and choose to walk in truth, you can pray and ask the Lord to take down the “reader board” sign over them. Break off any ungodly labels and word curses too. Make sure you have the consent of the alters who are carrying the beliefs. After that, you can ask God to show the alter a better job than the negative one they had in the past. Wonder with them, what is the opposite task that I might be able to do to help the system instead of harming? Then encourage them to stop reinforcing the lies they once believed. A new label is assumed or completely dropped and the old put away.
It is always important to change the client’s self-talk to align with God’s truth regarding who they are in Christ. Once the original lie is exposed and dealt with, it still takes time to learn to walk as a new creation.
The more you see yourself as God does, the more you can share the truth with those you minister to. Your therapeutic relationship including encouraging them to accept God’s view of themselves, modeling it to clients, vision for the client and love, are truly transformational.